No matter how long two individuals have been together or how much they’ve endured in their relationship, few things compare to the challenges they face when it comes to redesigning your home. You might think you understand your spouse inside and out, but strange behavior may occur when you’re making apparently benign design choices. Know this. It is totally normal but can be somewhat alarming. To put it bluntly, if you aren’t the only inhabitant of your house, yours is not the only design style that counts.

Lea Frank Design

I would say that 99 percent of the time, redesign happens because one half of a couple decides they are sick and tired of how things feel or look. Normally it is the nester in the group who catches the reins. A take-charge attitude can be a fantastic thing, but keep in mind that whether you’re redoing one room or several, every member of your household should feel represented.

It can be almost impossible to put aside personal prejudices when faced with your partner’s 1980s dorm room sofa. For you it is an embarrassing, ugly piece of crap. For your spouse it is a reminder of being young and single and not caring what anybody else thought about the sofa.

Blending styles, tastes and demands can be tricky. This room shows how lovely a mixed-style space can be. Adding just a little bit of feminine with a dash of masculine creates a tasteful and inviting room everybody is able to feel comfortable in.

When Likes and Dislikes Don’t Match

My husband has amazing style. He’s an art director and a graphic designer, and everything out of how he dresses into the music that he listens to is trendy. When we got married, I knew I would need to unite my eclectic, vignette-building style with his tidy and contemporary aesthetic. Moving to our first apartment, we did not have anything to sit, so I purchased two big seats and called it a living room. My husband did not love the seats, but that was OK, since neither did I. I knew they were temporary, therefore I wasn’t insulted.

As time moved on I put up art, purchased furnishings and moved things around — lots of. I loved how our distance seemed, and that I thought he did too — before the very time we had an argument about the vintage coffee table. I loved that it had been black and chippy and seemed a small Gothic. He thought it seemed like crap. Ouch.

He pointed out there was comparatively small in the distance that really represented him. I had been crushed, but I returned the table. Additionally, I took down several big pieces of art and replaced them with stunning works he had squirreled away in his design studio. I started asking opinions before buying, and if he contested our “need” for something, I knew meant he actually did not want to see it in the home.

The room shown here is an excellent example of mixed styles. It’s industrial, contemporary, lively, clean and eclectic. Additionally it is welcoming enough for the owners to host an intimate dinner party or a raucous Super Bowl Sunday. It seems like a combo of enjoys working with each other to create a entire home.

Jordan Iverson Signature Homes

Designing can be a very emotional procedure. You’re changing your daily environment, making innumerable decisions, solving problems and spending money. There aren’t many matters more volatile than expenditures in a relationship, and because decor is not always perceived as a requirement (it’s for me) , setting expectations beforehand is crucial. Come to an agreement about the fundamental things such as colour, texture and types of furnishings, and go from there.

This chamber has a wonderful mixture of cool tones with a blue base. Possibly the pops of red represent one spouse’s favorite color, while the paneled wall proved to be a joint conclusion. It’s an actual mix-and-match style that actually works extremely well.

Figuring Out What Works

Decide beforehand what your objective is. Be it a fast refresh or a total remodel, ensure you and your spouse are on the same page about the job’s scope and cost. Unusual meltdowns may happen during the design process, however you can minimize those from opening the lines of communication:
Pick what stays and what goes. If you’re asking your spouse to get rid of things, be prepared to do the same. There has to be a clear give-and-take so no one believes they’re being pushed out of the home or overrun with another person’s design choices. Make a list of things that require both partners’ acceptance, such as a new television or dining room table. Larger purchases are usually a fantastic guideline. If it costs over X amount, both people need to agree. Decide which items you’re both prepared to concede on. If you genuinely do not care about electronics but are obsessed with what they sit, conquer and divide. Not all of us have the same love of throw pillows and picture frames, so find out which things you can each donate. Learn How to compromise. At a relationship you both bring unique things to the party. You may not love your spouse’s Van Halen record collection, and he or she might hate Shabby Chic. Find a middle ground that you both can live with this as placing the documents on display in the family room when functioning in a couple of Shabby Chic bits in the guest bath. Do not confuse relationship issues with design issues. A great deal of pent-up aggression gets discharged during times of fantastic change. Painting the living room walls shouldn’t degenerate into an argument over whose mother is worse. Do not fall prey to worry and fatigue. Get the rest you need and consent to table deeper talks until after the redo.Make choices with respect and love. Just as you want to love your distance if you walk through the door, your spouse should love it just as much. Create an environment that reflects who you are as a couple and the lifestyle that you would like to live. By keeping the lines of communication open, placing expectations and being prepared to compromise, you can design an area that truly represents everybody who lives there.

More: The Art of Compromise

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